Rediscovering My Essence: A Return to Positivity and Authenticity

I just realized on my blog that I started in 2018 with the blog title 'Cogito ergo sum,' meaning 'I think, therefore I am.' 

I was great at that time—very positive, full of energy, and hope. 

I need to come back to being me. I'm tired of feeling bored, negative, and full of worry. I want to bring back the truly me.

Embarking on a Journey of Self-Transformation: Breaking Free from Habits and Embracing Growth 💪✨ #NewBeginnings #SelfImprovement

I am aware that several of my habits are not good at all..

Such as spending too much time scrolling through Instagram and e-commerce sites, lacking quality time spent with my family, consistently staying up very late almost every night, rarely engaging in physical exercise, abandoning intermittent fasting, and indulging in excessive shopping—even though it's just thrifting, I believe it has already crossed the line. As a result, my skin looks dull, my focus is diminished, my speech is unclear, I am less engaged with my kids, my body weight is uncontrolled, my loans have increased, and I am feeling more stressed.

What should I do? I need to make changes in my life. Today is the last day I do all the silly things mentioned above. Tomorrow is a new day, and I want to rely less on my phone, spend more quality time with my family, sleep at the same time as my kids, exercise at least three times a week, if possible, every day. I also need to review my detailed loan bills, understand the exact numbers, and make a plan to address them one by one. Additionally, I'll revisit my diet, aiming to go from 58kg to 50kg with a target of losing 8kg in three months.

Moreover, I want to develop my skills. Instead of dwelling on my current situation, I'll take positive steps by enrolling in online and free courses on english, public speaking, creating effective presentations and proposals, fostering creative thinking, adopting a growth mindset, understanding partnership, business development, marketing strategy, and leadership. I also plan to engage with my network, learning from their knowledge on these topics. My goal is to grow into a better person.

Navigating Life's Challenges: A Journaling Journey

Journaling – I think this is one of the activities I want to do right now. 

The purpose is that through journaling, I can write about all my suffering, happiness, worries, and hopes, allowing me to know myself better. 

I want to take better care of myself so that I can, in turn, take care of my family. Currently, I feel sick, lack confidence, and don't know my strengths. Life has hit me so hard—I got laid off from my job, something that has never happened before. 

Although I understand that this must be the best 'gift' from God, I still feel sad, worried, and upset. What am I supposed to do? How about the expenses for my kids' education and therapy? How will I pay off the banking bills that have been giving me headaches for the past year? There are a million 'hows' that linger in my mind.

38 yo - Family and Loss: Reflecting on Loved Ones

I am trying to find some media where I can express my feelings. Not on my social media because I don't feel too comfortable sharing what's inside my head there.

Wow, it's been since 2008 that I first tried to start a blog. Really? It was 12 years ago... time flies, and I'm just starting now. 😊 It's okay.

Here I am in 2020, at 38 years old! I have two amazing kids, Bryna and Kaivan. They are the best part of my life.

I also have a very warm and lovely husband. And my biggest loves are my Mom, mother-in-law, and all the other big family members. Unfortunately, Papa, my lil brother Imam, Mbah Lami, Mbah Jiman, Pak Heri, and Kakek Husein have all passed away. May they rest in peace. I hope my kids and I will always remember them as cherished family members. We say a wish and a prayer for them every day, five times a day after prayers. I recently heard from Quroish Shihab's podcast that people who have passed away will stay in Barzah for a while. This is their opportunity to add to their good deeds through their family and people who always pray for them, especially by mentioning their names.

I feel shocked and regret the negligence I've shown so far in not praying for them regularly every day. Did you know that when a family member passes away and no one sends direct prayers for them, they will roam around to seek prayers and charities dedicated to the deceased in general? I feel so sad. I should have been praying for them every day, often. I will never let them keep busy, tormented, running to catch up with prayers for others. I promise to send prayers for them every day so they can just sit, relax, and truly rest in peace.

I love you.

My First..

August 1st, 2008..
Finnaly, mencoba cicipi dunia per-blog-an...
Mudah2an bisa eksis :)